he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
please don't ironically join a cult
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