Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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