i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
