I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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