I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
