Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
