You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
