I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Plan B is the new Plan A
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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