I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
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