He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize