I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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