call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize
