Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
