Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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