addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
