Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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