Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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