things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
