the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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