Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
