Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
