I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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