She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
