I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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