Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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