If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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