he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Randomize