i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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