Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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