i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
