Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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