Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
