i would punch a child for taco bell
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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