...so i touched it.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
