i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
