Your face is a jimmy john
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
