his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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