and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Randomize
