Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
