hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
