i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize