This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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