Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
