sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
