And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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