It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
