I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
In other news, I just burned my penis
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Enjoy the penises
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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