I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
