Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
