He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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