Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
