Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
