She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
