so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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