its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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