Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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