8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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