Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
