i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
