i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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