Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
