Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
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