3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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