I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
