I just saw a hot homeless man
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
