I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
