4 words: hood of his car
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
